Your mentor doesn’t need to know they’re your mentor [OP-ED]

In a recent interview I did for The Muso Podcast, I was asked whether I had a mentor. I realised that I actually have a few; they just don’t know it.

In the past I have tried a few routes to engage a mentor. I’ve cold emailed someone I truly admire to ask if they had capacity to take on a paying mentee. I didn’t hear back and I assumed it was because they didn’t have capacity.

I’ve applied for a grant-based mentorship programme created by a local industry body. I was actually relieved to find out I was unsuccessful when I realised a few of the mentees didn’t have the luxury of a salary paying job like I do.

And I’ve paid for skill-developing courses to help fine-tune daily practices in leadership and stress management (I’m still working on using those by the way).

However, my current mentors have no idea they’re my mentors. As we casually catch up for that regular walk together, or grab an early breakfast before work – or head along to that show and grab dinner beforehand – I’m getting more than just a great conversation.

As we discuss our weeks so far, our highlights and lowlights, their thoughts on the situation or how they overcame similar experiences come up naturally. Before they even know it they’ve given me coping mechanisms, mantras, and big picture learnings that I take indelible mental notes of.

This isn’t to say mentor programmes, paid transactions and the standardised structures of traditional mentorships should be thrown out the door. I would suggest they still remain the ultimate situation – that is, if you can get your hands on one.

The crucial thing to remember in any case, is to aim for an even exchange. If I spent the entire time on that walk last week firing off question after question on things like time management and professional hurdles, I don’t think I’d be invited on another walk in the near future. I try to make an effort to see how I can add value to my mentors’ lives, in hopefully the same way they’re adding value to mine.

I think we forget how valuable our emerging industry players are when compared to our seasoned masters. They may not have been in the game as long, but they usually have opinions and experiences that matter to our music-loving audiences.

So, if your application was unsuccessful for that mentorship programme or you don’t have a few grand to splurge on professional development – or that cold email is developing icicles in your sent folder – why not be a little sneaky like I am? After all, this industry is full of wonderful, helpful people ready and willing to exchange thoughts and ideas.

This article originally appeared on The Industry Observer, which is now part of The Music Network.