What to wear, where to go, who to pash: Your guide to the #TIOawards

Next Tuesday — March 27, 2018 A.D. — will forever go down in history as the day you wore shorts and a singlet to The Industry Observer Awards, because you didn’t bother to read this very article until today, which we all know is December 25, 2018. The reason you’re reading the internet instead of enjoying Xmas lunch is because your friends and family disowned you, all because of that time you wore shorts and a singlet to the TIO awards.

Doesn’t seem worth it, does it? Well, you should avoid all that future embarrassment, and SUIT UP.

Here’s a gif to demonstrate this notion.

Nah, not embedding a gif. This isn’t the Buzzies or whatever BuzzFeed call their awards. (The Giffies?)

This is a serious industry event!

So, to reflect this seriousness, the dress code for the awards will be ‘cocktail’ which you can either take to mean “dress up, ‘cos there will be wine and photographers” or alternatively “dress like Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue or Bryan Brown in the hit 1988 film Cocktail.”

You’ll find out which option was the correct one on the night.

As for where to go once your Uber driver has dropped you off (can’t believe he had a compartment filled with Minties and didn’t offer you one), well, head to Sydney Cricket Ground, Gate A, off Driver Ave. at Moore Park.

The awards start at 6:30pm and will go through until midnight — although this is an awards show and therefore is legally required to run at least two-and-a-half hours longer than billed.

Oh, and TICKET SALES END TOMORROW, Wednesday, March 21 (buy them here) so if you have been waiting until the waxing crescent moon to make your purchase, then get on it.

Okay, here’s a gif. You’ve earned it. Welcome to the TIO Awards…

This article originally appeared on The Industry Observer, which is now part of The Music Network.